President Trump Has Become The Most Awarded Man In History

The truth is right there in front of you

Donald Trump, 45th President of the United States, the man who made America great again, has a new title: Black Belt in taekwondo. He was awarded the prestigious Black Belt by a master in taekwondo and president of the Florida taekwondo governing body, Lee Dong-sup. The 45th president is now a 9th degree black belt, and now ranks above Chuck Norris! Not many are able to pass the tests to get to this level, but Trump had it in the bag!

The Taekwondo master, one of the best in the world, has always been impressed by the 45th President. “There’s something about him, he possesses power, strength, patience and endurance, something that the best martial artists all have” said the master martial artist. He added that whatever Donald Trump puts his mind to, he excels at. President Trump is certainly one of the best, if not the best, Americans there ever has been. He’s been called the American Dragon.

Trump was excited to get his honorary 9th degree black belt. It’s honorary, like most other things Trump has received, because as we all know, the former president is woefully out of shape and uninterested in doing any activities that don’t include self worship, gulping down copious amounts of Diet Coke and the fish filet sandwich from McDonald’s, which is almost not edible.  If you’ve ever tasted it, you’d wonder if anyone in that organization has ever even seen a fish, but that out of shape bloated pig eats them like it’s going out of style. Which coincidentally, has. Like 35 years ago.

Trump has many honorary degrees, said Presidential historian Joseph Barron.  He has honorary doctorates, honorary black belts, a miniature statue of himself on Mount Rushmore, even an honorary commercial driver’s license so he can even pretend he’s a truck driver. Everything about former president Trump is pretty much BS, so what’s a few more awards and degrees he’s never earned that he can pretend he’s aced. Jenny Craig was considering giving him an honorary diet award but seeing as his diet consists of fast food and the occasional paid lady of the night, they thought that might be ridiculous.

But this may take the cake, unless he’s already eaten it. Giving the former president any award, honorary or not, for any feat of physical endurance is laughable. I mean, my God,  this reporter will stop at any shady taco truck he can find and down 6 carne asada tacos covered in hot salsa and doesn’t have the gunt Trump has acquired yet we’re supposed to believe he is a master martial artist when bending over takes an act of God and he couldn’t lift his leg over a curb but here we are. God bless America.

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