Biden Issues Official Apology to Kyle Rittenhouse

Joe Biden woke up this morning to the worst approval ratings a president has ever had, and made a decision: It was time to apologize to Kyle Rittenhouse.

The country is divided. Trump supporters are slowly creeping back up to their record 2020 numbers. Biden knows he lost, and that he’s going to lose again. So he made a political move, and wrote Kyle Rittenhouse a letter of apology.

According to a source inside the White House who may or not be credible, the letter has been sealed and is on the way to Kenosha as we speak.

Nobody has seen it, and mainstream news sources are refusing to report it, but we know it’s true. Our man on the inside, Joe Barron, has more:

Biden wasn’t happy. As he scribbled angrily you could hear him mumbling things like “little fucking murderer” and “we’d all be better off if that guy with the handgun had just pulled the trigger.” So we’re wondering just how sincere this letter will be, when we finally get to read it.

Biden sent the letter through the USPS, so it should arrive at the Rittenhouse home sometime in the middle of January. If we’re lucky.

God bless America.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 182 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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