Whoopi Offers Kyle an Embarassing $3 Million To Settle Out Of Court

Are you kidding us with this nonsense? Never have we heard something so utterly ridiculous. Everything about this just screams wrong.

Whoopi Goldberg has offered Kyle $3 million to settle her half of a $60 million lawsuit brought against her, according to our source.

That source, who may or may not have actually spoken to Goldberg’s attorneys, The Offices of Dewey, Skrewum, and Haugh, says Whoopi is “extremely upset” about the lawsuit and just wants it over:

“Whoopi is having trouble sleeping, and essential oils aren’t working. She wrote three pieces of woke culture opinion yesterday and canceled Chick Fil A in Norfolk, and still this si really just bothering her. I think she believes the little psycho might actually come for her in self defense.”

Kyle Rittenhouse is a hero and a national treasure, Whoopi. And like George Zimmerman, OJ Simpson, Bill Cosby, Casey Anthony, and Donald Trump, he was exonerated and therefore worthy of our praise.

America is such a great country when we focus on the good. Now that kids can carry easily-rapid-fired assault weapons into crowded situations that their very presence makes volatile under the guise of “rendering aid,” We’re gonna be soooooo great you won’t be able to recognize us.

Through the blood-soaked streets of conservative vengeance. To own the libs.

God bless America?

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 182 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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