Ashli Babbit’s Killer Taken Into Custody

Great news, patriots. The man who murdered Ashli Babbit in cold blood has been taken into custody.

According to our source inside the Richmond, Delaware Police Department, a man named Joseph Barron Batt with sandy hair was arrested and is being held without bail on charges that he shot a woman who was “breaking and entering.”

The source, who may or may not be credible or real, said it was easy to put two and three together to make six:

“Ashli was killed by a man with sandy hair, and now this guy is ushered in, middle of the night, and cops ain’t talking? We’re what…three states away tops? Two? I don’t know geography real good. What I do know is that there’s something going on and when we find out, it’s more than likely that this is the dude who murdered her.”

There you have it, patriots. We’ve gone much further on far less, so let’s hope this time we’re not wrong, being duped, or in the middle of a liberal satire wonderland in which we’re called taters while they point at us and laugh.

That would suck.

Anyway, patriots. You know the drill.

God Bless America. And Ashli Babbit.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 161 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

1 Comment

  1. HE NEEDS THE CHAIR !!!! SHE WAS WALKING AWAY, NO GUNS OR ANY THING AND HE SHOT HER IN THE BACK, THE VIDEO ON TV WAS FAKE YOU CAN SEE THAT IS NOT REAL BLOOD. ANTIFA PUT MAGA HATS ON WHILE PATRIOTS STOOD OUT SIDE. WHEN TRUMP IS BACK BEFORE CHRITMAS HE WILL INVESTIGATE. BY BY NANCY, YOU PLANNED IT ALL.

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