When you’re a guy like Donald Trump, it’s a given that you’re going to pull out all the stops on Mother’s Day for that special lady in your life. For former First Lady Melania, today is a dream come true, completely dedicated to her as only the Great Man himself can do.
Completely planned out in advance, much like Donald’s sessions of excitedly orgasming atop pornography star Stormy Daniels during his third wife’s pregnancy with their child, today will be a celebration of a beautiful, stagnant, and empty union. Trump’s personal assistant Joe Barron, of the Queefington Barrons, dished to media sources about the day of romance and exotica.
“The disgraced First Couple will begin with a breakfast of fruit and fresh pork rinds. From there, a private plane, whose pilot will be stiffed on pay, will transport them to Paris, Texas, where Melania will be sent to a clinic to have her implants re-balanced. Her husband will bide his time during the session disappointing specially selected prostitutes with full, ripe bladders.”
“From there, it’s off to a nearby baseball diamond, where the royal pair will enjoy a game between disadvantaged children and unemployed Covid patients, vying for a prize of thirty dollars and a small bag of plain Corn Nuts.”
Both last, and least, the celebrated mother and her owner will attend a production of the space opera “Battlefield Earth” at a discount theater, as Donald enjoys watching his mail order wife squirm and often busies himself slobber-licking the sticky floor.
Again – Trump went ahead and whale-flopped on top of a porn star during the time his unloved wife was exhaustedly carrying his child in her womb.
Maybe this Mother’s Day, you and I will have to settle for a dinner at Applebees with a coupon and shell out for some nail art and a Roomba. But when you’re a Trump, especially a Melania, the dream of love, respect, and class never seems to end.