After the massive loss of Republicans in 2020, including the House, Senate, and Presidency itself, the party of the right has been immediately focused on the integrity of the vote. Even now, red state governors are debating dozens of laws aimed at making it harder to vote so that their unpopular candidates and policies can continue to cheat their way into American life.
Now, during this cyber-age, Democratic rep Sandra Batt of Michigan has proposed bill H4242 to begin the safe and secure process of voting via online ballot. The bill is expected to pass easily through the house with a Democratic majority in time for the 2022 mid-term election.
Batt explained how the vote will work and why, to journalists gathered outside of the shuttered Teddy Ruxpin factory in Queefington Lake.
“After this measure passes, we will begin checking voter registration rolls through use of satellite imagery to ensure prospective balloters are alive and moving. This will serve as the ‘identification’ and citizenship test.”
“After that, it’s very simple. Voters will be required to open an account on their state’s website, using three secure passwords of at least 200 characters in length each, submit a photo I.D. and a valid credit card, take a brief vision and hearing test followed by a constitutional quiz, and then submit a brief resume coded in the html programming language.”
Critics say the somewhat drawn-out process will disenfranchise older and less-tech savvy “boomer” voters, a large majority of the Republican’s withering base. The senator confirmed these suspicions.
“That’s exactly right. We figure if they want to be the party to make it harder for normal intelligent citizens to have their right to vote, we’ll show them what ‘disenfranchisement’ really means. Better tell your Trumpy grampa to hit up the Learning Annex for a class.”
The Internet Voting bill is expected to pass early next week. Software provided by Dominion systems has already been approved for use.