Democrats Had Anyone Named Trump Excluded From Stimulus Checks

In what can only be considered a delusional move by Democrats, anyone named “Trump” will be excluded from even being considered for a stimulus check.

Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer are obviously using powers they don’t actually have to pull off a vindictive attack on anyone bearing the name of their political enemy.

The funny thing is, the Trumps already don’t qualify because they’re rich, so the only people they’ve hurt are average Americans who happen to have that last name.

Take Lester Trump, for example. Lester is a landscaper from Trenton. Because his name is Trump, he won’t get his stimulus check.

Lester and more than a thousand other Trumps have now started a petition to get their money. They’ve asked the real Donald Trump to help, which, of course, he was happy to do.

According to a Trump spokesman, Trump will collect enough donations from his political action committee to send each of these people their money…twice.

Then, because Trump expects his followers — and especially his namesakes — to be true Americans, he will issue autographed bibles he assures us will be worth “far more than a measly $1400.”

The donations will then be used to support Trump’s future political goals, his lifestyle, and a free ride for his kids.

God bless America.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 152 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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