Seven-time Super Bowl champion quarterback Tom Brady may be a former New England Patriot, but as far as his loyalty to America is concerned, he is anything but a former Patriot.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers announced today that at the urging of Tom Brady they will celebrate their Super Bowl win at Mar-A-Lago, foregoing the traditional White House visit.
In what is anticipated to be a three-day celebration, the Buccaneers will be the personal guests of President Trump.
As a token of appreciation by President Trump, each player will be given full access to the golf course, including Trump’s personal ball washer and spray tanning booth assistant, a private locker in the changing room, and all the Big Macs they can eat.
The players will also be given free two-hour visits to the numerous Asian Massage Parlors located around President Trump’s resort that he himself frequents, where they will be able to get their sore muscles rubbed and any pent-up tensions incurred during the long football season tugged out.
Tom Brady himself will be presenting the Grey Cup he fought so hard to earn to President Trump.
Trump spokesperson Vince Lombardi was ecstatic:
“This is truly a great honor. Not just for President Trump, but for all of us here at Mar-A-Lago.
Melania Trump is especially looking forward to meeting Tom Brady and has planned a private evening meal with him in her personal quarters.
We look forward to hosting the entire team and hope they enjoy their stay here.”
The Grey Cup will remain on full display at Mar-A-Lago until the Canadians demand it back.
It just doesn’t get more Potatriotic than this!