Biden’s First Gun Ban Takes Effect This Week

Last week, in the dead of night, while everyone was asleep, and the world wasn’t looking, the founders rolled over in their grave as Joe Biden signed a gun ban that will begin the treacherous road to fascism.

Biden banned any weapon that is designed expressly to take human life. “There’s a difference between a hunting rifle and an assault rifle. We haven’t given our soldiers old wooden rifles with 10-round magazines since Korea for a reason.”

The ban won’t take effect until it actually happens, which Vegas says is about a 300 to 1 shot, because in the real world, Joe Biden couldn’t care less about your guns.

The NRA says it will fight the fictitious order with everything it has. CEO Wayne Dupree says he’s diverting $40 from the organization’s bankruptcy legal fund to help lobby congress:

“It’s not much, but it’s the thought that counts. We can’t let stories of gun control laws that don’t exist take away our rights, and that’s all there is to it.”

The Justice Department has been directed to arrest anyone caught with an assault rifle after Saturday, but to let them go after a stern warning about the dangers of their weapon, since again, this is all a total crock of doody.

Biden’s office hasn’t responded to our requests for comment, and probably never will.

Something tells me we’re not real popular over there.

God bless America.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 153 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

1 Comment

  1. YOU TRY COMING UP MY PATH AND SAY “MY NAME IS BIDEN AND GIVE ME YOUR GUNS”. FIRST YOU ARE NOT MY PRESIDENT AND 2 I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY GUNS, ONE IS MY LATE HUSBAND AND HE HAD IT FOR THE TOWN BLACKS, SOME TRY TO BREAK IN, HE NEVER USED IT BUT IT IS GOOD TO HAVE. IN CASE.

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