House Democrats Vote to Remove Kentucky from the United States

The truth is right in front of you

The Democrat Party has long been fighting American norms and has stood for nothing more than opposing the Republican Party.

They have long been jealous of the power held by Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and the universal respect given to Kentucky’s Junior Senator, Rand Paul.

In a secret committee meeting, which was held in the basement of the Bennigan’s Restaurant on Constitution Avenue in Washington, DC, a majority vote to remove Kentucky from the United States was completed, with the 14 Democrats voting in favor and 12 Republicans voting against.

Citing the Federal Statehood Act that was ratified in 1960, shortly after Alaska and Hawaii became states, statehood is limited to no more or less than 50 states, the Democrats quickly moved to make the District of Columbia a state.

Furthermore, there is no requirement to take this vote any further than the committee.

Democrat Party Leader Claude J. Little smugly held a “victory” press conference to talk about this.

“Mitchard Gene McConnell has been hell-bent on destroying America for years.  The fact is that he hates America.  Obviously, anyone who votes for him hates America too.  And that’s un-American.  His shenanigans have moved this country from one that was kinda respectable to being the punchline of a joke that no one wants to hear.

The Federal Statehood Act has allowed us to have the power to remove Kentucky from the United States as long as we have something else to slide into its spot.  We believe that the District of Columbia is perfect to take Kentucky’s spot.

They always vote Democrat so we know that they love America.  They’ll help us keep a Democrat majority forever so that we can finally create a McConnell-free liberal utopia!

We want to also get Puerto Rico in.  What do you all think?  Do Tennessee next?”

Removal of Kentucky from the United States is expected to take approximately three weeks.

McConnell is expected to become the new leader of the fledgling nation, which is expected to immediately become a third world oligarchy similar to the old Soviet Union.

Meanwhile, independent sources project that the United States will improve in education by 13 percent and living standards by 12 percent simply by swapping out Kentucky for the District of Columbia.

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