AG Barr Says The New York Times ‘Will Pay Dearly’ For Illegally Obtaining Trump’s Tax Returns

Attorney General William Barr says the New York Times is in serious trouble for its recent article about the president’s tax returns.

According to our source inside the Justice Department, Barr is gearing up to make sure the Times doesn’t forget just who makes the rules in this country:

“The failing Times needs to remember that this country works for Donald Trump, not the other way around. He was gracious enough to give up his career making billions to lead our country out of the darkest time in its history, the Obama era.

“These people need to recognize that the US Justice Department is the personal lawyer for Donald Trump and that we will aggressively pursue anyone who makes him look bad or exposes his crimes. He’s our president. He cvan’t be prosecuted, therefore he can’t commit crimes.”

AG Barr says he has assigned a team of investigators to find out who leaked the documents and how they got them.

The team includes John Bolton, Trey Gowdy, Harry Crumb, Joe Friday, and Inspector Gadget. Barr hopes to have some actionable intel by next Thursday.

Meanwhile, President Trump has been mostly silent about the bombshell Times article, only tweeting “FAKE NEWS” in response.

His handlers have assured him they could clear the whole thing up if he’s willing to release his own version of his tax returns, which some say aren’t actual documents but just “I’m a Billionaire” written in Sharpie on a piece of construction paper.

Luckily for us Trump supporters, the level of his corruption and the extent of his crimes are meaningless. We don’t care.

We only care about owning the libs and keeping a criminal in office really pisses them off.

Trump 2020.

 

 

About Flagg Eagleton 133 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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