Three FBI Agents in Durham’s Clinton/Obama Probe Found Dead

deaths keep mounting

In an ominous sign that the DOJ’s top investigator John Durham’s probe into former president Barack Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton may be getting too close to his targets for comfort, three FBI agents working on the investigation have been found dead on the same day.

This follows the resignation of Durham’s top aide, Connecticut prosecutor Nora Dannehy, ostensibly for political reasons.

What is now clear, however, is that Ms. Dannehey most likely resigned out of fear for her life.

The fact that all three were found dead on the same day and in the same city raises more than a few suspicions, as does the manner in which they died:

Special Agent Stan Marsh was found stuffed face down in a barrel behind a 7/11 store. The cause of death was not immediately known.

Special Agent Kyle Broflovski apparently committed suicide by electrocuting himself in his bathtub with a microwave oven.

Special Agent T.B. “Token” Black was found in the basement of Shakey’s Pizza, dead of an apparent satanic ritual known as “Bunga Bunga.”

Special Agent in Charge Eric Cartman of the FBI’s South Park, CO field office, which serves as headquarters for the Durham Anal Probe, was saddened by the death of his colleagues:

“Oh my God! They killed them all! Those bastards! That now makes a total of five agents we’ve lost over the past four months. When will it stop? We’re down to only three investigators now.”

The three deaths come after two other FBI agents involved in the probe, Kenneth McCormick and Agent Hankey, both also of South Park, were found dead under mysterious circumstances only a few months ago.

We attempted to reach DOJ spokesperson Joe Barron for comment, but were informed that he, too, had abruptly resigned from his position.

About Watt A Plonker 17 Articles
Watt A. Plonker is a Wurlitzer Prize winning journalist and author of several books on Potato Farming. His latest book, "The Tantalizing Truth About Taters" was on the New York Times best seller list and was awarded the prestigious Creme de la Menthe prize for Culinary Science Fiction. Mr. Plonker lives in Peckham, South East London with his wife Gladys, who is a nurse with the National Health Service, and his pet hamster Rodney.

1 Comment

  1. PRES. TRUMP WILL ADD THESE TO THE LIST THE CLINTONS HAVE ALL READY KILLED. HE IS ABOUT TO POUNCE, THERE IS A VIDEO OF HILLARY KILLING A GIRL AND WEAR HER FACE, IT IS ON A LAPTOP. POLICE WHO SAW IT DIED, IT IS SO BAD. ALL OF THESE THINGS. THE MURDERS AND THE VIDEO WILL GET HER THE DEATH PENALTY. THIS YEAR I HOPE. MANY OTHER ELITES ALSO.

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