Mattis on Hot Mic: ‘A Stray Dog Has More Guts Than That Pathetic Loser Trump’

mattis slams "cadet bone spurs"

After speaking at a military ceremony over the weekend that honored canine heroes who sacrificed their lives for their human counterparts in war zones, retired General Mattis was caught on a hot mic denigrating the President of the United States, Donald J. Trump, in more ways than one.

Mattis had just finished his speech when he turned to Rear Admiral Joe Barron, who was standing beside him at the podium, to vent about the president while his pin lapel microphone was still on:

“Here I am honoring fallen dogs who gave everything for their country and we have a president that calls even human soldiers who gave everything “f*cking losers”. I would take each and every one of those dogs over Cadet Bone Spurs any day.

What a useless pile of crap. Hell, even a stray dog has more guts than that pathetic loser. At least a dog will stand his ground against a bully and sacrifice his life for his owner. Dogs understand duty. Trump lets Putin walk all over him, doesn’t have a clue what duty to the country means and sacrifices nothing.

That Orange moron stands for nothing but himself. Let’s hope Biden kicks his ass in November. We don’t need four more years of this clown circus.”

But it didn’t stop there.

General Mattis, still wearing his open mic, retired to the Officer’s mess along with the other military luminaries who attended the ceremony. While there, several other current and former military leaders were also heard railing against the president.

Some of the choice nuggets overheard were:

“I was standing right next to the bastard when he said that” – General John Kelly

“Remember when he almost crapped his pants when we told him he couldn’t invade Wakanda because it’s not even a damn country?” – General John Allen

“He wanted to name all of our new ships the USS Trump. Every single one of them. What an idiot!” – Admiral Mike Mullen

“You’re not kidding. We had to waste two hours explaining to the “very stable genius” that the Warthog is a damn plane, not a flying pig that drops bombs.” Air Force General Mike Hayden

“If you think that’s bad, get this: it took us two months to convince the imbecile that building a Death Star featuring a Trump Tower is not a priority.” Space Force General John Raymond

Mercifully, the live feed stopped when General Mattis went to the bathroom and finally noticed he was still wearing his mic after flushing the toilet.

Will TruPotatriots™ let this outrage and disrespect stand? We report, you decide.

About Watt A Plonker 20 Articles
Watt A. Plonker is a Wurlitzer Prize winning journalist and author of several books on Potato Farming. His latest book, "The Tantalizing Truth About Taters" was on the New York Times best seller list and was awarded the prestigious Creme de la Menthe prize for Culinary Science Fiction. Mr. Plonker lives in Peckham, South East London with his wife Gladys, who is a nurse with the National Health Service, and his pet hamster Rodney.

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