As the silent majority knows, our dear leader, President Donald J. Trump will be reelected in November. He’ll have four more glorious years to drain the swamp, rid the country of socialists, and Keep America Greater Again.
And now, in an exclusive scoop, we can report with 100 percent certainty that the object of his lust, his daughter Ivanka Trump, will be running for President in 2024. Patriots know that because of Trump’s impeachment, he could be given an extra four years in the White House without even having to run for another term, but he’s already decided that he will hand the mantle to his daughter instead.
Ivanka Trump, who ran a clothing company into the ground and would be a nobody from nowhere if not for her toxic last name and her grandpa’s money, has decided that Dynasty isn’t just a cheesy TV series from the 1980s. The Trump Dynasty will continue with her ascendancy to the throne — sorry, to the White House — in four years.
And why not? Her dad, already addled with dementia, has been a stunning role model and has taught her all she knows.
She knows how to lie. She knows how to act like a spoiled daddy’s girl. She knows how to make an embarrassment out of our country.
So she’ll fit right in on the Republican ticket! No morals? No scruples? No smarts? PERFECT.
Sign the dotted line, smile a lot, and rake in the votes from the stupid rubes who are scared of imaginary bogeymen cooked up by their media overlords at Fox and OAN.
Her running mate will be her pansy-ass patrician husband, Jared Kushner. They’re a team, after all, and who would be a more perfect match? Anyone else would be like spoiling the Captain and Tennille, Sonny and Cher, or Morticia and Gomez.
You heard it here first, patriots. Ivanka 2024.