Antifa just doesn’t know when to stop.
Hundreds of “protesters,” ready to burst into the Republican National Convention to start a riot were stopped by patriotic Americans before they could get near it.
According to our source on the street outside the convention in North Carolina, the scene was chaotic and surreal, but in the end, America won:
“These Antifas just showed up out of nowhere. Hundreds of them. The next thing you know, patriots wearing American flags and shouting TRUMP 2020! were there to stop them. It was a beautiful sight.”
It’s true, America. Patriots are standing up to Antifa all over the place. Luckily, when our side decides to become violent, the police stand down and allow justice to be served.
Our source says the nearly 700 Antifas were thwarted when a dozen soldiers of God wearing American flags like they were Kid Rock pandering to morons flew in on bald eagles and laid waste to the communists.
They beat them with rolled-up copies of the Declaration of Independence and pounded them with My Pillows filled with rock salt and rubber bullets provided by the local police.
In the end, the Antifas were left bruised and bloody and wishing they’d stayed in their moms’ basements.
One witness, who may or may not have actually seen what happened, told our reporter, Art Tubolls, that it was like watching the Colonial Army take the Airport in San Jose that borders the Alamo:
“Those wimps didn’t stand a chance. Each patriot dispatched 50 of them with red white and blue beams shot from their buttholes while reciting the 2nd Amendment. It was truly a magnificent sight to behold.”
President Trump said that he’s glad the Antifas were so easily thwarted, adding that “there were probably good people on both sides, just not their side.” Which makes total sense if you think about it. Or not.
Either way, god bless you, Patriots, for intervening when God called on you. You’re truly American heroes.