Pelosi to Trump – ‘Fund Post Office, Or We Defund Your Secret Service’


A lot of her rabid fans sometimes refer to Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi as “Sam”, short for Samuel Jackson.  Because as far as the Democratic Congress goes, she is a harcore negotiator.

Personally, I prefer Directors of SHIELD who don’t almost lose a Helicarrier to a God of Mischief.

The current liberal media slant is that President Trump is attempting to rig his second election, this time by hobbling the postal service in order to obstruct voting by mail.  His reasons for doing so are as stupid as his followers, having to do with completely incorrect nonsense about rampant voter fraud that hasn’t happened.  But fictional Nancy isn’t taking any of that happy horseshit.

According to Congressional aide and nipple scrubber Joe Barron, Pelosi has sent an ultimatum to the White House, threatening to remove all funding for the President’s secret service protection unless he returns funding to the post office and fires the crooked douchebag he pulled out of his ass to run it into the ground on purpose.  Of course, if he doesn’t receive that message in time due to a delivery delay, i guess it is what it is.

Pelosi and top Democrats note that in the last century, when voter turnout is high, the Republican candidate loses.  This may make the point that in reality, less American citizens actually want them in charge.  The impeached parade-balloon sized bumbledick of a President is demonizing mail-in ballots, during a pandemic cisis he failed to competently address, no less, because it’s the easiest way to drive down voting numbers.  It’s a plan worthy of his second wife, Vladmir Putin.

“You are doing well, Borscht Vat. Now text me the missle codes. I will fill up your hookers with Apple juice.”

Luckily, Nancy Pelosi is several orders of magnitude smarter than Trump’s entire reverse-evolved mutant family, and has floated the offer before she feels it necessary to have the worthless inept leader arrested and thrown into a refrigerator box where she can boot him repeatedly in the nuts for a period of at least four hours.


  1. Certainly sounds to me that Piglosi’s ultimatum and outright THREAT to OUR GREAT PRESIDENT’S, Vice-President and First and Second Families very SAFETY and LIVES could be EASILY CONSTRUED as HIGH TREASON!! This FILTHY BITCH needs to meet a HANGMAN’s gallows and I mean RIGHT NOW!! ARREST THIS PIG!!!

  2. And then I notice this is a site for satire. NOTHING PIGLOSI could do that would surprise me any more! Glad to discover this as “Creative Bull Schitt.”

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