Trump Orders Lazy Americans to Lose $600 Weekly Unemployment Bonus

Get a job instead of being lazy!

Unlike lazy Democrats, Republicans value self-sufficiency above all else. So it’s no surprise that many on the right are displeased with the federal government giving an extra $600 a week to unemployed Americans who lost their jobs because of the pandemic.

They can now rest easy, knowing that our dear leader, impeached President Trump, has ordered an end to the extra $600 weekly unemployment benefit.

“It’s time for lazy Americans to get a job. What’s so hard about that? The economy is the greatest ever, and we’re not going to pay people to stay home any longer,” said Trump at a news conference.

All people need is some seriously boot-strappy self-sufficiency to pay the rent, put food on the table, buy medication, and perhaps put gas in the car. Take a state like Florida, for example, where the maximum unemployment benefit is usually a whopping $275 a week. Multiply that by four, and $1,100 a month is more than enough to feed a family and keep the lights on. Eat some ramen if you’re hungry!

That extra $600 a week just made people lazy and it’s time to end it. It’s not like that extra payment is helping keep the economy from sinking into a depression and keeping consumer spending going — the main driver of the United States economy. Nope.

World-famous economist Sandy Batt was aghast at Trump’s order.

“That $600 a week is keeping people from being evicted, keeping the economy afloat, and keeping many businesses open when consumers spend money. To end it is not only cruel; it’ll create an economic disaster.”

Trump doesn’t care, though. He needs to pretend to value hard work and pretend like people are just too lazy to get new jobs. Hey guess what? There are no jobs hiring in a pandemic!

Enjoy your ramen, peasants, if you can afford it. Don’t forget to vote for Biden in November.

3 Comments

  1. I DID NOT GET THAT MUCH WHEN I WORKED AND MY SON DOES NOT GET THAT AT WORK. IT IS WRONG, LIKE A COMMUNIST COUNTRY, PEOPLE SHOULD WORK FOR THEIR MONEY, THEY ARE GETTING RICH FOR DOING NOTHING. THIS IS WHAT BIDEN WILL DO.

  2. EXCUSE ME, I DO NOT KNOW WHO YOU ARE, PROBABLY A LEFTIST DEM. I WORKED AND MY SON WORKS AND IT IS NOT 600 DOLLARS. YOU THINK GOING TO COLLEGE IS CLEVER AND THAT IS WHY HONEST AMERICANS ARE BEING ATTACKED BY THE LEFT.

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