Pelosi Demands Immunity From All Charges or No Stimulus

She doesn't want to face charges!

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is demanding many things in the latest talks with Republicans about a new stimulus bill. The most egregious demand, however, is completely beyond the pale.

She has put her foot down and said that House Democrats absolutely will not support any bill that doesn’t grant her immunity from charges that she has embezzled taxpayer money for all of her decades in public service. Or any other charges, ever, that corrupt Republicans or super creative satire writers throw at her.

Yes, patriots, she is putting herself, her booze habit, and her fancy-schmancy San Francisco lifestyle before the desperate times Americans are facing, and she’s demanding a guarantee that she’ll never see a jail cell except for when she takes her grandkids to visit Alcatraz.

Her spokeswoman, Sandy Batt, explained, “Speaker Pelosi is demanding that Republicans focus on real relief for real Americans — extending enhanced unemployment benefits, extending the eviction moratorium, keeping businesses afloat with cash flowing from consumers. You know, basic economics. Stuff Republicans don’t understand.”

Speaker Pelosi has shut down all negotiations, waiting for Mitch McConnell (R-Turtleville, KY) to budge on her demand for immunity. So far, all the turtle has done is pull his head into his neck and refuse to budge on…anything. He’s not even participating, actually, leaving all the discussion to Trump’s hired flunkies.

And now, for the real story: Speaker Pelosi and her Democratic majority in Congress passed a multi-trillion dollar stimulus bill in May — and the Republicans have done…nothing. Nothing.

Republicans think that extending enhanced unemployment benefits will make people lazy and not want to return to work. Smart people (which excludes Republicans, duh) know that the $600/week extra beyond the pitiful regular benefit is keeping people in their homes, with food on the table, paying for utilities and medicines and clothing, and also keeping businesses afloat as consumers spend money.

It’s almost like the Democrats are looking out for Americans and Republicans are telling them to eff off.

1 Comment

  1. PRES. TRUMP NEEDS TO JUST TAKE OVER, THERE IS NO REASON TO LET THIS DRUNK SAY ANYTHING, SHE HATES AMERICA. WE NEED THE MONEY AND SHE WANTS US TO STARVE.

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