Fresh off her landslide primary win, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is flexing her political muscle and making a shocking demand. She has insisted that the United States flag be redesigned, with only 39 stars instead of 50.
To punish the former Confederate states — the 11 states that left committed treason and left the Union to protect their right to own human beings.
“Leaving the United States of America to form a new country was the ultimate un-American action. Why should we honor them with a star on our beloved American flag? We should wait another hundred years or so before returning those 11 stars to the flag. Until then, people in those loser states need to repent, stop living off blue-state taxes, and prove how American they are,” she said in a recent news conference.
Another bonus to removing 11 stars from Old Glory: When Puerto Rico becomes a state, it’ll be nice and symmetrical to have 40 stars on the flag. Winning!
Joe Barron, the Republican Governor of Alabama, was furious when he was informed of AOC’s demand to remove his state’s start from the American flag.
“Well, yessir, we did leave the Union back in the day when it was allowed to own people. We had to protect our heritage, you see, if by ‘heritage’ you mean owning human beings, treating them as less than human, and forcing them to do back-breaking work for our benefit. Yessir, it was worth it. We were allowed back into the Union after the War of Northern Aggression ended. And that should be the end of the story.”
AOC was having none of it. “Traitors don’t deserve to be honored with a star on our flag. So many faux patriots insist that all Americans worship the flag. Why sully our freedom cloth with any representation of the textbook definition of ‘traitor’? Off with those stars!”
I suppose this is where the taters will demand she leave the country if she doesn’t like it.