Despite all the lies and nonsense coming out of the lamestream media about our dear leader President Donald Trump cratering in every poll known to man, it’s a well-known fact that he is going to win in November. His re-election win will be historic. Bigly. Yuge. A gigantic win, the likes of which has never been seen before. Probably the biggest win ever. It’ll be tremendous.
Which explains why he has added a new item to his campaign website’s merchandise page: the Loser Libtard Crying Towel. Everyone knows that libtards cry. A lot. Especially on election night, when they will lose and cry. And they need special towels, dubbed “crying towels,” to soak up all those bitter, bitter tears. Trump to the rescue, once again.
The Loser Libtard Crying Towel is branded with “Trump 2020,” which is one of the few things most of his followers know how to type on social media, along with “Keep America Great Already,” which was a printing mistake but nobody will even notice.
The first batch of 10 million of these one-of-a-kind towels is already sold out. But the second run of 22 million will be in stock this weekend, ready for shipping and distribution to loser libtards nationwide. Be the first in your knitting circle or motorcycle club to place your order!
The campaign is encouraging red-blooded American patriots to buy a dozen of these unique crying towels and hurl them at loser libtards as they cry their eyes out on Election Night. If you’re lucky enough to not know even one lonely, loser libtard, the campaign is taking donations to send them in bulk to loser libtards in San Francisco, Portland, and New York who can’t afford their own.
It’s a win-win! You get to support Trump, and the libtards get humiliated by a Trump-branded towel.