Amidst his rampage on social media recently, actor Rob Perlman issued a fight challenge to handsome Trump child Don Jr., who promptly accepted it and set up the fight for July 4.
Perlman, a lifelong Democrat, went on a berserker-style spree on Twitter this week, going after human wet sock Jim Jordan and the personification of a hemorrhoid that is Ted Cruz.
Perlman called both of these mayonnaise Americans out for being complicit in supporting police brutality, issuing a $50,000 donation to Black Lives Matter is he wins in a wrestling match.
Never one to stray away from being a complete douche canoe, Donald Jr. jumped into the foray, stating “I’ll go after Perlman like I’ve gone after many endangered species; using high powered automatic weapons from a safe distance like a wimp.”
Perlman in turn told him to “put em up like a man, Junior” and “I’ll be your huckleberry.”
WWE spokesdog and all-around good boy Steve “God dang this dog is beautiful” Castle issued this statement:
“While we typically wait until Wrestlemania to have celebrities participate in a match, we could really use the good PR if Don Jr. actually wins against someone who’s twice his size and actually grew up on the mean streets of New York.
Additionally, since we’re one of his father’s biggest donors, we’re sorta beholden to book this match. Also, I’m the goodest boy of all time.”
Perlman has been training for weeks for the opportunity to get into the ring. Ever since Sons Of Anarchy ended, he’s been waiting for the opportunity to rough someone up and, most importantly, to beat the living tar out of a racist, as he’s married to a woman of color. Don Jr., coming from a long line of racists, fits that bill.
The event will take place on July 4 at Ceasar’s Palace in Las Vegas, as all of the Trump Casinos have long since closed down. The price on pay per view is $69 (nice), with the rest of the card being Joe versus three burritos in a handicap match, and Hank versus his Mini that keeps dying on him in a Steel Cage Match.