CA Denies Trump’s Request for Campaign Rally in LA

The White House went above and beyond to extend an olive branch to the California government and to formally request to hold a campaign rally in Los Angeles. Governor Newsom, being the bully that he is, emphatically denied the request on the grounds of “California doesn’t want you here.”

Now, Gavin Newsom might be one of the most handsome politicians of all time who claims he was born in East LA, but this is just plain rude.

On the other hand, it’s just good sense, as Trump rallies leave a swath of garbage in their wake, along with having no positive impact on the local economy, outside of high sales for Big Macs.

In California’s response, they will be gladly holding 15 Joe Biden campaigns and giving out free avocado toast to all rally-goers.

The Trump campaign issued their retort by rescheduling their planned rally to the more welcoming location of an Arby’s parking lot in Fallon, Nevada.

Our California correspondent in the field and generally good boy, Steve Castle, has this to say in response to this breaking news:

“The only thing Trump supporters throw are sticks, and it’s usually for their sisters to fetch. These slacked jawed yokels winter even throw a tennis ball for me! What up with that?! Frankly, I’d like nothing more to bite each one of these obese coverall wearers right in their behinds, but I’d rather not get hepatitis.”

Needless to say, we’ll be providing constant updates to this breaking story. At the very least, this just means that Los Angeles will be slightly less stinky for at least one that, and for that, this reporter is grateful.

About Blaine Pullcepper 32 Articles
Milk, milk, lemonade. Around the corner, hE’s sThiLl yEr pReZsDeNcE is made.

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