Hunter Biden Implicated In Murder of Ukrainian State Witness

Hunter Biden, the son of the Democrat’s presumptive nominee, has been implicated for murder in Ukraine. According to our sources in the area, who may or may not speak Ukrainian, officials were overheard asking a judge for a warrant to arrest and depose Biden the next time he enters the country. Case law specialist Jos Barron told us:

“So this man was murdered, and from what we can tell, he was going to turn state’s evidence against Biden in the ongoing Burisma investigation. The next thing anyone knew, he was found dead with two bullets in the back of his head, a common cause of “suicide” among the Biden family’s Clinton cohorts.

“Therefore, we’ve come to the conclusion that this has to be Biden, and that he should be held accountable.”

Friends of the victim say the translation may be a bit off, as the deceased was shot in broad daylight by as drug dealer after trying to rob him of a pocketful of fentanyl, which may or may not be how Biden managed to get him killed. To plant drugs on a dealer and then shoot a man clearly there to do him harm shows some real investigative prowess and would have taken a lot of planning.

Those familiar with the case say Biden probably had nothing to do with it, but that doesn’t mean he’s not guilty. His longtime friend, Art Tubolls, says Biden is just one murder away from qualifying for Clinton status. One thing is certain: he has to be stopped.

About Flagg Eagleton 128 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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