Rep. Rodriguez (D-OR) Acquitted on Drunk and Disorderly Charge

The truth is right in front of you

Congressman Juan “Bender” Rodriguez from Oregon’s 6th District, was recently arrested for being drunk and belligerent in public. Many onlookers were able to get some very unflattering video of the Congressman, including some literal fire burps. Some of the footage even made it to Fox News Channel.

It seemed like it would be an open and shut case. The video evidence was allowed into court and the jury was visibly shocked by the actions of the Congressman. Even the footage of Rodriguez stealing money from wallets and putting them back empty did not produce a guilty verdict.

So what was the jury thinking? How could the public defense team of Joe Barron and Lionel Hutz actually get their client acquitted? Surprisingly, it was quite simple.

Legal expert Sandy Batt explained,

“The charge of ‘drunk and disorderly conduct’ requires two conditions to be met. The condition of ‘disorderly’ was clearly met, as was shown by the videos. The second condition of ‘drunk’ was not met, however.

‘Bender’ is a robot and functions most effectively and efficiently with alcohol in his system. The ‘oil alcohol content’ in his system was nearly zero. In robots, such as Mr. Rodriguez, this condition presents itself as drunk, where no alcohol in his system can prove to be fatal.

The Congressman was not charged for the thefts, therefore there was no choice but to let him go free.”

The Democrats in Congress are expected to throw a wild party for Rodriguez once he returns, assuming Speaker Pelosi doesn’t drink all of the booze by herself. It looks like the party that is a national embarrassment is at it again. It’s just another reason to vote them all out in November.

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