RNC Estimates Up to 15 Million Illegal Immigrants Will Vote in November

millions to receive mail-in ballots

In a shocking new study released by the Republican National Committee, it is estimated that up to 15 million illegal immigrants will cast a vote in this November’s election.

Considering that about 63 million people voted for Hillary Clinton in 2016, adding that many illegal votes to the Democrat column will almost surely result in the defeat of President Trump.

While the average reader is likely wondering how this could even be possible, the answer is quite simple: China, Agriculture, and mail-in ballots.

Professor Joe Barron, the principal investigator of the study, explains:

“Most people think that voter fraud is more common in Blue states such as California, where there are are large concentrations of illegal immigrants. While that has been true in the past, the situation is now quite different.

China’s trade war with the U.S. has hurt farms the most in Red states such as Alabama, Kentucky and Arkansas. This has forced local farmers to hire more illegal immigrants, as they can no longer afford to hire American citizens, who are paid higher wages.

At the same time, Red states are increasingly using mail in ballots in elections. Due to antiquated voting laws, many of those states will send anyone with a legal street address a mail-in ballot, thus skirting voter ID laws.

Worse, the number of ballots sent will be determined by the number of adults living at that address according to the last census, which also counted illegal immigrants. This means that millions of illegals will be receiving mail-in ballots this year all over the country, not just in Blue states.”

Cletus Derpfinger, who is a small potato farmer on the east coast of Arkansas, says the situation in his area has become dire:

“We have no choice but to hire them ill eagles, otherwise we ain’t gonna survive. Who’s gonna buy taters for two bucks each? There’s this company run by some guy called Soros that buses ’em over from California and Mexico for free and sets ’em up to live here. We’d all be screwed if it weren’t for him.”

If the study turns out to be correct, this could be the first election in U.S. history where the president is elected in large part by non-US citizens.

About Watt A Plonker 20 Articles
Watt A. Plonker is a Wurlitzer Prize winning journalist and author of several books on Potato Farming. His latest book, "The Tantalizing Truth About Taters" was on the New York Times best seller list and was awarded the prestigious Creme de la Menthe prize for Culinary Science Fiction. Mr. Plonker lives in Peckham, South East London with his wife Gladys, who is a nurse with the National Health Service, and his pet hamster Rodney.

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