Michigan Governor Whitmer to Resign Over ‘Boatgate’ Scandal

Michiganders are about to figuratively make their Governor Gretchen Whitmer walk the plank.  Her husband Mark decided that his status as ‘First Gentleman’ made him better than everyone else and deserving of being allowed to launch his boat early from an otherwise closed marina over the weekend.

As a direct result of her husband’s abuse of his status as ‘First Gentleman’ and for starting the Boatgate Scandal, that woman from Michigan has agreed to resign effective at a time and date to be determined in the near future.

The good Conservative Republicans of the state, who have been unified in their effort to social distance to flatten the curve, met this hypocrisy with outrage. These good citizens wanted to go boating, have barbeques, attend their sons’ and daughters’ graduations, but held off for the greater good.

We caught up with Sandy Batt of Bay City who told us that if it was up to her, she would have hit the lake on Saturday night.

“All week.  We were so excited.  We were gonna keep on boating on the waves with a roll.  On Saturday Night.  Saturday night.  Fishing on both sides with our hearts and souls.  I just couldn’t wait.  I had a date.  Was gonna be on that boat with my baby til the night was through on Saturday night.  We were gonna do it all and have a ball.

But no, I couldn’t go on Saturday night because I’m nobody related to nobody.  But even if I was, I wouldn’t abuse the position of who I was related to so that I could get what I want.  These liberals think they can get away with anything.”

True Michiganders know that the state was better off with Republicans in power and it can be again when we can vote out all of the corrupt Democrats out of Lansing.  Let’s all do our part to Keep America Great Again!

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