Joe Rogan Issues UFC Fight Challenge to Trump

Few have had such a varied and successful career as Joe Rogan. Initially, a successful stand-up comedian, Rogan has also been the host of the television show “Fear Factor,” has hosted the most successful podcast of all time, “The Joe Rogan Experience,” and is was one of the first advocates for ultimate fighting, so much so that he’s now one of the top commentators for the sport.

Recently on an episode of his podcast, Rogan was talking to UFC President and longtime friend Dana White. While discussing the next round of UFC pay per views that are scheduled, Rogan mentioned off handily that “I could take Trump down in less than 8 seconds,”  and, “that orange-faced buffoon wouldn’t stand a chance,” and “his Big Mac style isn’t a match for my Judo.”

The internet and Las Vegas sportsbooks have taken this story and are running with it. The current odds of a potential fight are 5000-1 in Rogan’s favor. Rogan keeps himself in incredible shape, and as we all know, President Trump is a certified Adonis when it comes to his physique.

We reached out to UFC spokesperson and former BMA (Burrito Martial Arts) spokesperson Joseph “Butterfingers” LaForm, who had this to say:

“Pardon my Philadelphian, but there ain’t no way in ‘ell that dis fight ain’t gone happen, capice? Listen, President Trump is a physical specimen, ok? He currently has a 525lb bench without breakin a sweat, al’ight? If Joe Rogan, that lil punk, eva stepped into tha ring wit Trump, Trump is gone knock ‘is block ov.”

Rogan couldn’t be reached for comment, as he was too busy practicing Judo and lifting weights, as he does every day. An unidentified source close to a Rogan, however, said that “Joe can taste blood, and this blood tastes like bigly amounts of ketchup,” which is certainly a well placed and relatively funny dig at our President.

Dana White has neither confirmed nor denied plans for building a fight card around these two heavyweights (in Trump’s case, super heavyweight), although records show that the name “The Battle of Trump’s Saddle(bags)” has been trademarked by White, as well as a deposit has been made at Madison Square Garden for the weekend of July 4th.

Let us be the first to say that we wait with bated breath for the opportunity for Trump to get his little child hands around the neck of Joe Rogan, noted libertarian. This will be a battle for the ages until Trump inevitably has a heart attack.

LET’S FIGHT.

About Blaine Pullcepper 32 Articles
Milk, milk, lemonade. Around the corner, hE’s sThiLl yEr pReZsDeNcE is made.

1 Comment

  1. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, I DO NOT. KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT PRES. TRUMP IS FITTER THAN MEN HALF HIS AGE, HE WILL SHOW YOU A THING OR TWO. YOU MUST BE A DEM, THEY ARE VIOLENT AND BURN CITIES DOWN BUT THIS WILL NOT GO YOUR WAY.

Leave a Reply