Trump to Federalize Virginia National Guard to Protect Potato Farms

The truth is right in front of you

President Trump recently called out Virginia Governor Ralph Northam over the nefarious plot to strip Virginians of their God-given Second Amendment Right to own firearms.

Most of all, the President was concerned about the protection of Virginia’s Idaho potato farms that will be under constant siege from potato-hating extreme vegan liberals.

Under the advice of Joe Barron, Secretary of Defense, the President is expected to federalize Virginia’s National Guard and mobilize them to protect the state’s potato farms from these liberals.

Captain Ann Tennille explained the mission,

“It’s gonna be good to have the chance to use our training. That being said, the likelihood of any need for use of force is low. Our intel reports show no danger to Virginians’ Second Amendment rights or potato farms.
We’ll be out here for 89 days so that we don’t qualify for any of the good stuff that happens at day 90 sitting around all day waiting for nothing to happen. Yeehaw.”

Due to the sheer number of potato farms in Virginia, it is expected that each soldier will be responsible for guarding approximately five acres. To save the taxpayers money, the guardsmen will be responsible for digging up their own potatoes to eat while living in small pup tents with no access to electricity or running water.

The President himself is expected to see our brave soldiers off before they hit the fields to save America and to do their level-headed best to keep taters from tating.

These brave men and women are the only ones standing between potatoes with every steak and national famine like the Governor and the rest of the Democrats want. Pray for our soldiers!

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