Pelosi Calls For Police to ‘Universally Disarm’ Protesters


The Speaker of the House is sweating through her plastic surgery these days.  So many Trump-supporting patriots are coming out against stay-at-home orders that they’re becoming a problem for Democrat’s chances at any election victory.  It also frightens her to the bone to see them demonstrate their second amendment rights.   That’s why she’s calling for the nation’s police forces to universally disarm any and all protesters they come in contact with.

“Can y’all stand down and walk to the curb? I’m gonna have to insist you put on a little of this here deoderant.”

Nancy Pelosi is all too well aware that these protests have about 10% to do with frustration over sheltering in place to save their own and everyone else’s lives, and 90% to do with waving their dicks around in the air and shouting about Trump, since there aren’t any more rallies happening where they can proudly stand next to Nazis and openly masturbate about Hillary and Obama getting imaginary prison sentences for nothing.

Joe Barron of Police United Against Psychopaths agrees with the Speaker:

“It’s only a matter of time before one of these dented-head soldier-wannabes fires off a few clips and murders a half dozen people.  That may be okay in Georgia, but the rest of America is run by grown ups who passed Elementary school and don’t think “Red Dawn” was a documentary.  Blue lives matter, and we don’t need to be put in any more danger than we already are.  Hand it over like the woman says, or you’re getting a ‘rough ride’, if you know what I’m saying.  Moron Lube.”

“You dumb hillbillies are just so lucky I died before I figured out which chord makes you shit yourselves.”

Pelosi added that we need to concentrate on staying safe during this crisis.  Stay at home as much as you can, and wear a mask if you do go out.  Just because a failed businessman with absolutely no knowledge of what he’s dealing with tells you it’s safe to re-open, doesn’t mean it is.  Because it’s not.  Not at all.  The man bankrupted a casino.


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