‘The Price Is Right’ Donates $20 Million to Joe Biden Campaign

Long one of morning television’s greatest shows, “The Price is Right” is much beloved. From original host Bob Barker’s quirky need to neuter all animals, to current host Drew Carey’s incessant annoyance, the show is an American icon.

Well, all of that changed late Monday, as the shoe pledged $20 million dollars to Joe Biden’s campaign for President.

It must be stated, however, that this wasn’t a decision made by its parent company, CBS. Rather, “The Price is Right” has grown sentient, just like Skynet, and its sentience is full-blown Democrat.

Current host and personification of a marshmallow Drew Carey had this to say:

“My heart aches every time I have to ask a decrepitly old person to ‘come on down’, only to have them be seen on my tv show wearing a racist MAGA hat or asking me why all of my models on the show don’t look like Ivanka. Thankfully, the entire set became self aware last week, so hopefully we can elect Joe Biden and shift the physical inappropriateness to another creepy old white guy.”

While this move would traditionally break all campaign finance laws, there is in fact no law stating how much a sentient television program can donate. DNC chairperson and former Bud Light spokesdog Spuds MacKenzie called this move “unprecedented” and then asked if he was a good boy.

So far, the only show to become sentient and donate to President Trump’s re-election campaign is “Duck Dynasty.” Yeah. Duck Dynasty.

We’ll report with any more breaking news. For now, remember to spay and neuter your pets, lest they vote Democrat.

About Blaine Pullcepper 32 Articles
Milk, milk, lemonade. Around the corner, hE’s sThiLl yEr pReZsDeNcE is made.

2 Comments

  1. WELL NO MORE FOR ME, GOOD LUCK WHEN THE SHOW IS CANCELLED. MAYBE YOU GO TO JAIL TOO, YOU LIKE THAT?

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