Brad Pitt is universally beloved by all liberals. Dashing good looks, immense acting prowess, and hardcore socialistic ideals make him the legitimate triple threat for entertaining liberal communists from the coastal elite cities. While it’s still rumor and innuendo at this point, it’s been hinted that Mr. Pitt is about to take on his most challenging role yet: portraying Donald J Trump on a story about his life.
The movie, under the working title “Just Tremendous, Believe Me: The World’s Greatest President,” the movie follows Trump’s life, from his humble beginnings as a silver spoon-fed upper class Caucasian, to him being a conscientious bone-spur laden objector to the Democratic fueled Vietnam war, to documenting all of his many successful business dealings.
Spuds MacKenzie, former Bud Light spokesdog, has been tabbed with directing the controversial film. He issued a statement regarding the furor surrounding his movie:
“While it may be a bold move, having Brad Pitt, one of the most gorgeous men to ever live, portraying Donald Trump, the bigliest President to ever exist, to me seems like a fantastic idea. They’re both 6’4”, 200lbs of cut American freedom based muscle. Pitt might be a low intelligence having liberal, but this shows that his acting chops know no bounds. I expect this to overtake Avatar as the biggest blockbuster in history.”
The rest of the cast has yet to be confirmed, but the buzz around the water cooler hints at Anderson Cooper playing Mike Pence, Sarah Michelle Geller plating Trump’s daughter and love interest Ivanka, Maddie Jackson playing Melania Trump, a stale loaf of white bread playing Jared Kushner, and John Goodman playing Trump’s ex-wife Ivanna, possibly in his most compelling role yet.
The release date is slated for June 14, which coincidentally is Trump’s birthday. Presale tickets are available at this time, and the demand is expected to be high, just tremendously high. Consider this reporter particularly excited to see Trump on the big screen. Still your Oscar winner.