Barron Wants to Be Quarterback, NFL Says ‘Only If You Take a Knee’

Barron Trump might only be 14 years old, but he is growing up to be a fine example of a patriotic young man. The most recent example is his desire to be the starting quarterback for his hometown team, the New York Jets.

Barron is too young to officially be declared for the NFL draft, but the Secret Service recently held a “combine” of sorts for the precocious youngest Trump. He ran a 2.9 40 yard dash. He has a 63” vertical leap. He can throw a football over them mountains. Nonetheless, the NFL has issued a warning to Barron: if you want to be a quarterback in our despot of a league, be prepared to be forced to take a knee during the National Anthem.

New York Jets spokesperson Mike Rotch, stepping in for previous spokesperson Joe Barron, has this to say:

“Listen, this youngin has unparalleled talent. He makes Joe Montana look like Joe Dirt, you know what I mean? Any team would be drooling to have such prestige, especially with him being the son of the greatest orange president we’ve ever had. However, rules are rules, and our rules are made by the ruling coastal elites that prefer to subjugate caucasians as opposed to being patriotic. Our hands are tied.”

The overwhelming hope is that the NFL will come to its senses by the time Barron can actually be old enough to play. It would be devastating to not be able to enjoy a generational talent play professionally, especially since the only alternative, the extremely patriotic XFL, recently had to fold. Let the young man play, America. Let. Him. Play.

About Blaine Pullcepper 32 Articles
Milk, milk, lemonade. Around the corner, hE’s sThiLl yEr pReZsDeNcE is made.

1 Comment

  1. BARRON WILL BE A GOOD FOOTBALLER, HE IS HANDSOME AND CLEVER LIKE HIS FATHER, HE WILL NOT KNEEL EXCEPT FOR THE FLAG AND JESUS, HE IS A GOOD BOY. PRES. TRUMP NEEDS TO SET UP A NEW FOOTBALL TEAM WITH ONLY PATRIOTS AND GODLY PEOPLE, IMAGINE THAT, I WILL WATCH IT.

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