With seniors stuck at home unable to graduate high school in the traditional way, a desperate senior from Eagle Rock High School tweeted that he still wants his commencement speech. He reached out to President Obama in a tweet, begging him to address graduating seniors all over the nation.
Obama is doing one better.
He not only responded to the request with a big “Hellyeah!” but he also decided it was time to get back in the spotlight. With the help of his sporty wife, Michele, and his team of voice coaches who live on his estate, Barack will address the nation weekly to allay fears gripping the world.
Sandy Batt, a speechwriter for the former president, had this to say about President Obama’s national address series.
“The president feels that Trump is doing a piss-poor job of calming the American people. And to be honest, these addresses will kill two birds with one stone. It will resurrect Obama as the greatest speaker of all time and it will be a punch in the gut to the fraud sitting in Obama’s chair in the oval office. These speeches will do what Trump could never do — lead the nation.”
Trump wasn’t available for comment because he was too busy on the phone with the Russians discussing plans for his upcoming election.
Senator Joe Barron wrote in a White House memo leaked to the press via carrier pigeon that he thinks Obama should “shut up” and “know his place.” Plus, we heard from an insider that when Trump heard of this weekly event, smoke billowed out of his ears like Yosemite Sam and he threatened to seize every TV from every house in America.
“I’ll deploy the National Guard if I have to. I’m the president, damn it! If anyone’s face will be televised, let it be mine. My orange-peel glow is perfect for HD and don’t even get me started on my hair. Listen, if Obama goes through with this, there won’t be any TVs left in America. Hell, I’ll even unplug the internet. I have the power cord and security codes!”
President Obama’s national address series, named Obama Returns, will air every Thursday and continue indefinitely. We don’t know about you, but we’re excited.