Well-known un-American socialist Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has announced the latest policy idea for her Green New Deal. In addition to her other harebrained ideas to reduce greenhouse emissions, she now wants to limit all American families to having only one child.
“Having only one child will benefit families in so many ways. First of all, one kid consumes much less of the world’s precious resources and produces so much less pollution than two or more. Also, one kid is cheaper than two or more kids. Who can afford childcare these days? And don’t get me started on clothing, food, and socialist indoctrination camps,” she said at her press conference announcing the new plan.
President Trump, father of five spawn with three wives, turned bright red in the face, obscuring his usual orange hue, and exploded in rage when he heard about Alexa O’lamabama-Cortex’s plan to limit couples to having only one child.
“It is our God-given right to procreate as often as we want, with as many women as we want. Also, Republican boomers are dying off in droves so we need conservatives to have as many children as possible.”
Alessandra Octavia-Corvette was undeterred by the tantrum from the tangerine toddler. “I will continue to fight for our planet and the chance for future generations to breathe clean air and drink clean water. Also, polar bears are super cute and I don’t want them to go extinct. Have just one kid and save the planet.”
Famed social science researcher Sandy Batt was aghast when she was questioned about Alexis Something-Rosebud‘s desire to limit families to one child. “This is America, where we can drive minivans with stick-figure families on the back depicting our broods of four, six, or ten kids. So what if it strains the world’s resources or overpopulates the globe. It’s our right to go broke trying to support ridiculously large families if we want to.”
Be sure to call your Congressional representative to voice your dismay about this proposal before the vote next week.