AG Barr Indicts Squad on Federal Crimes After Six Month Investigation

finally!

In an ironic twist of fate, US Attorney General William Barr announced today that he is charging Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York, Ilhan Omar of Minnesota, Ayanna Pressley of Massachusetts, and Rashida Tlaib of Michigan with violating the Davis-Bacon Act. Specifically, the Davis-Bacon Act requires paying prevailing wages for all public works projects.

So why is the Squad, who have purportedly been champions of a $15 minimum wage ever since they took office, being indicted? Assistant US Attorney Art Tubolls of the Upper District of Dearborn, Michigan explains:

“The answer is simple: hypocrisy. Every single public works project they sponsored was funneled to Allahu Snakhbar International GmbH. The company is a German umbrella corporation owned by George Soros, with each member of the Squad being major shareholders. Contracts would be passed on to subcontractors – usually illegal immigrants from Wakanda — which were then paid below minimum wages with all the extra profits going to the Squad.”

Grabir Boubi, spokesman for Congresswoman Ilhan Omar, vehemently denies the charges:

“At no time did Representative Omar engage in any illegal activity. The people from Wakanda are all infidels! They were paid what they were worth, all at a huge cost savings to the American taxpayer. What’s more, they were each given rations of three pounds of bacon a day! Do you have any idea how much bacon costs these days?”

Hous bin Pharteen, spokesman for Rashida Tlaib, concurs:

“This indictment is a sham, pure and simple. It is politically motivated and unconstitutional and we denounce it in the strongest terms possible. All we did was try to make a buck, just like everyone else.”

While it remains to be seen whether the charges will stick, this does not bode well for the Squad.

About Watt A Plonker 17 Articles
Watt A. Plonker is a Wurlitzer Prize winning journalist and author of several books on Potato Farming. His latest book, "The Tantalizing Truth About Taters" was on the New York Times best seller list and was awarded the prestigious Creme de la Menthe prize for Culinary Science Fiction. Mr. Plonker lives in Peckham, South East London with his wife Gladys, who is a nurse with the National Health Service, and his pet hamster Rodney.

3 Comments

  1. Finally These elected criminals are being called out. Penalties, should be to kick them out of our country. They are all enemies of the State..

  2. Q SAID THIS WAS HABBENING, IT IS ALL THERE, THE SIGNS, WE WERE LAUGHED AT BUT WE KNEW, WE HAD IT ALL. THE VIRUS IS A COVER FOR THE ARRESTS TO START, WE WILL SEE EXECUTIONS OF AMERICA ENEMIES AND ALL TAXES WILL BE GONE. IF YOU HAVE A MORTGAGE IT IS ILLEGAL NOW, PRAISE BE !!!!

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