President Trump, in his ultimate wisdom, has decided to donate an entire year’s salary to purchasing ventilators for hospitals in need. While the do-nothing Democrats do nothing, Trump has taken it upon himself to address this very important crisis:
“I and I alone can solve the ventilator crisis. Me. Bloomberg couldn’t. We had good people there. They worked hard and got sexually harrassed. Women, some of them. But the ventilators will be the most important thing since that, and we will be prepared. I will buy them. I will pay. When we pay and we buy, things get done, and we’re doin amazing things. Things that nobody dreamed of. And the cast over there at Foc and Friends they can naysay but we know how great it is, and how we’ll keep it great.
“I bless America. The churches have been great. They tell me, ‘You’re the one, Mr. President.’ And the things get done. And the prayers are so important. Like the ventilators. And we have the best of them all right here.”
With words so eloquent, it’s amazing that the man hasn’t been given his own passage in the King James, Patriots. This is next-level stuff. According to the Acting Director of the CDC, Eric Trump, not only is the ventilator thing handled, it’s handled for good:
“So the liberals want to talk ventilators and they’re just traitors. Ventilators are my dad’s specialty. Don Jr. is, as we speak, investing in a ventilator company right here in Toledo and looking at creaing more than 500K jobs. That’s half a million. After Pearl Harbor, this country stepped up and built lkike 4 million tanks, planes, and ships in a month or so, so we can do this. My dad’s got this, America.”
The former head of the CDC says that while it’s a nice gesture, $307K after taxes will buy like…13 ventilators if they get the cheap ones, which wouldn’t help much at all. That’s probably why you don’t have a job, genius. When Trump makes a gesture it means someone else will come through and he gets credit for the whole idea. That’s how this thing works.
God bless you, My President.