Biden Promises to Pardon Harvey Weinstein on Day One

Disgusting liberal pervert rapist Harvey Weinstein was sentenced to 1,000 years in solitary confinement this morning by Judge Sandy Batt, a strict constitutionalist who was appointed to the federal bench by President Donald Jonas Trump.

Justice has been served, and the sexual predator will no longer be able to rent unnecessary medical equipment to try to gain sympathy. Nor will he be able to, you know, rape people.

Unless immoral and handsy Joe Biden wins the presidency, in which case he has promised to pardon Weinstein on Day One, immediately following his inauguration but before he forgets where he is and asks for a ride to Disneyland.

Mr. Biden said:

“Weinstein is an old man now, and he should live out his remaining month or two at home, where he can think about the crimes he committed and most definitely not try to assault any of his household help. He can also decide to not talk about any rich politicians and celebrities who didn’t know about his sexual assaults when they were happening.”

Judge Batt was incensed by Biden’s announcement. She has vowed to break with precedent and go public with her disapproval of the pardon.

“This is a miscarriage of justice. Weinstein deserves to die in prison, so much so that I can’t even make a snarky joke about it.”

When reached for comment, President Trump remarked, “I’ve never met Harvey Weinstein, don’t even know who the guy is. In pictures, he looks so old and feeble, so old. People say he did these terrible things. I have no idea. If he did them, he should be punished severely.”

Here’s a picture of Trump not meeting Weinstein. It’s all a lie, folks. They’ve never met.

Weinstein should spend his final days in prison, patriots. Tell your elected representatives to stand up for justice.

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