Once again proving that she hates freedom and is an anti-American socialist, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez introduced a bill in Congress today that outlaws homeschooling. Homeschooling is a God-given right for patriotic Americans who don’t trust American schools to protect their kids from any socialist coastal elite mumbo jumbo about nonsense like science, Arabic numerals, and freedom from religion.
Not only does AOC’s bill outlaw homeschooling; it requires all American children to go to school — PUBLIC school. She stopped punching a bald eagle long enough to explain herself:
“Everyone knows that home-schooled kids are so weird that they can’t function in society when they grow up, start wearing clothes with buttons and zippers, and learn words with more than two syllables. So my bill would be the great equalizer. All American kids would learn the same information and be good Americans, learning about our history, our literature, and what makes our country so great.”
She SAYS she wants all kids to have an equal start, but what she really means is that parents would no longer be allowed to keep their kids bubble-wrapped and sheltered from scary things like world history and controversial literature. Minister of National Education Joe Barron promised that the GOP — protectors of liberty and freedom to keep your kids stupid — will mount a vicious smear campaign against this bill.
If her bill passes, parents would be required to enroll their kids in public school and give them all their vaccinations. AOC knows that red-blooded American patriots will start yelling at clouds and telling her she should leave the country because of this, so she has allowed for exceptions to the public-school rule. Any parents who want to send their kids to private school can do so, but only if they pay a penalty: a tax equal to one year of their private school tuition for each year their kid stays out of public school. Want to send your kid to 12 years of private school? Go for it. Just be ready to pay double — once to the school and once to the federal government. Taxes collected through this penalty will be used to pay for free college for the smarty pants kids who are too good for blue-collar jobs.