Just when you thought you’d hopefully seen the last of impeachment liar Adam “Shifty” Schiff, he’s made the news cycle again, only this time, he’s probably not too happy about it. Thanks to a tip from a patriotic embedded “whistleblower” in Afghanistan, the Democratic loudmouth was busted attempting to make his own “quid-pro-quo” with the Taliban during the cease-fire with the intent to sabotage President Trump’s peace efforts.
According to sources from a federal investigation sanctioned by Attorney General Bill Barr, Representitive Schiff travelled early last week to Kabul, Afghanistan, chartering a ride in a Ford Aerostar van approximately 17 miles southwest of the Capital to meet in secret with Taliban generals in the tiny village of Bhatt-Sandhi. Once there, and unaware that he was being surveilled by American military intelligence, Schiff was observed attempting to offer them appointments within a new Afghani government in exchange for holding off on any peace deals until : “President Biden takes office.”
Trish Blake, head of the Middle Eastern Teabag Squad of Homeland Security has her doubts :
“Well, first of all, in that picture, those are clearly Jedi robes. And that isn’t Adam Schiff. What I suspect, in this case, is that a desperate President Trump is losing his shit faster than a diarrhetic sky-diver, and told Barr to make something up to explain why his whole ‘peace deal’ with the Taliban is falling apart. I think he was hoping to go into the election with at least ONE accomplishment under his mile-long belt, and as is his way, proven throughout his life, when he loses, he pretends he didn’t, and blames someone else. I’m 100% sure that’s what’s happening here.”
Although the tapes, records, video, and for that matter, any shred of solid evidence to back up this story remains unseen, AG Barr swears to it’s authenticity, and will hold a press-conference later this week to provide a summary in his own words of the findings. Schiff, meanwhile, is comfortably at home watching Netflix with his family.