President Donald Trump cut the entire budget of the Center for Disease Control after their refusal to acknowledge that the Caronavirus is a Derp State hoax created by the Democrats to tank the economy, which will pave the way for Crazy Bernie, Sleepy Joe, Pocohontas, or even Hakuna Matata Pete to ascend to the office of the President.
Outgoing Director of the CDC Sandy Batt believes that eliminating the funding is a grave mistake that will cost hundreds of thousands of lives unnecessarily.
“With all due respect to the President, this is a dangerous move. This new disease has not been stopped by border walls or travel bans. It is here now. Millions upon millions of Americans cannot afford health care, nor can they afford to miss work if they get sick, which will spread the disease further. We know now that recurring cases exist and will now need to rely on the rest of the world’s research to help us to defeat this new and terrifying disease. Mr. President, please reinstate our funding.”
Shortly after Ms. Batt’s impassioned plea, Rush Limbaugh admonished anyone who went against the words of our wise President by bringing up the spike in ratings seen on the liberal networks CNN and MSNBC.
“I know all about ratings spikes. Look at what happened when I announced my cancer. It’s great! I didn’t plan it to be this way…or did I? We don’t need the help of other nations. The globalists have never done anything for us and are only looking to take us down.”
Shortly after Limbaugh’s rant, anonymous sources say that the President is considering an executive order to eliminate media access from outside of the United States.
There is no reason to be alarmed. The only widespread sicknesses in the United States are the liberal media, the Deep State, and those who don’t support our President.