California Governor Will Level Historic Veteran’s Cemetery to Build Low-Income Housing

California Governor Gavin Newsom — a known socialist, communist, Venezuelan relative of Nancy Pelosi — declared the homeless problem in his poop-covered state a crisis this week. His proposal to solve at least part of the crisis will no doubt cause many patriotic Americans to clutch their pearls and demand that he leave the country.

Newsom wants to remove the sacred bones of all 2 million dead soldiers from the Presidio Military Cemetery in San Francisco, re-plant them in Stockton where land is SO much cheaper, and build subsidized housing on top of their former resting places. The happy new residents will pay only $60 a month for their spacious homes, while hard-working, law-abiding American workers will cover the remaining $4,440 a month (everyone knows that rent in San Francisco is ridiculous).

A special section will be set aside for refugees, where they can refuse to assimilate to American culture, do math with Arabic numerals, and practice their religion without interference from Constitution-abiding, red-blooded patriots. Their housing will be completely free, because everyone knows Newsom gives everything to immigrants — especially the illegal ones — for free.

“Have you seen the poop on every single street in the entire state of California? This place is a cesspool, and we need to get these poopers — excuse me, these unhoused individuals — into homes with indoor plumbing. The soldiers whose bones we’ll dig up, stack up, and move to Stockton won’t mind. They’re dead. They can’t see that gorgeous view from the hillside overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge,” Newsom stated.

“The cemetery is on federal land, and my Auntie Nancy has already given the state approval to start bulldozing the hillside next week,” he continued. “We’ve awarded the building contract to my uncle George Soros’ construction company, and in a huge win-win, he is hiring only homeless, undocumented refugees to work on the project. What better way to instill pride in our newest neighbors?”

This travesty can’t be allowed to go forward.

4 Comments

  1. COMMIEFORNIA PROBABLY GOING TO LET SATANIC RITUAL THERE, AND MUSLIMS ALSO. THERE IS DIRT IN EVERY STREET, HUMAN DIRT, AND NEEDLES. NANCY WANTS EVERY GOD FEARING REPUBLICAN GONE AND REPLACED WITH MUSLIMS.

  2. As it goes, most people never check to see that this a satire page, the same as Duffleblog, The Onion and Babylon Bee.

  3. The elements of truth are required for good humor, in this case is so characteristic of socialist thinking it’s little wonder it seems believable. Who would believe that taking a dump on the sidewalk is a protected right in San Francisco.

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