As President Donald John-Boy Trump’s investigation of Barack Hussein Obama’s corrupt administration edges closer and closer to the Kenyan Muslim himself, former Deputy Director of the FBI Andrew McCabe was arrested this morning on charges of treasonous traitoring. We’ve all known for years that anyone even remotely connected to the Obama administration committed treason multiple times daily for eight years, and McCabe will now pay for his decision to allow Obama’s Deep State denizens to spy on the Trump campaign in 2015.
McCabe, dressed only in a short cashmere bathrobe and still clutching his soy latte, was dragged from his home before dawn this morning. As Attorney General William Barr personally slapped the handcuffs on McCabe’s skinny little wrists, Barr exclaimed, “This is the beginning of the end for Obama! He will pay dearly for his un-American decision to commit treason by installing cameras in all the microwaves and toaster ovens at the Trump campaign HQ. It is my Trump-given duty to distract from the exploding deficit, the impending cuts to Social Security and Medicare, and the growing ranks of uninsured Americans. Let’s focus on what’s really important: the black guy who’s been out of office for three years and his corrupt minions.”
Back at the White House, President Trump gleefully tweeted the news of McCabe’s arrest. “Spyin’ Andy McCabe committed treason and did many awful un-American things, believe me, very un-American things. He will now be known as Spyin’ Andy McCabe, the worst FBI director ever. Except for Comey. That guy sucks too.”
When ace Washington political correspondent Sandy Batt contacted McCabe’s wife for comment, Mrs. Treasonous Traitor sobbed and said, “My husband is a lifelong Republican who served as an FBI SWAT Team member. He has always loved his country and been a loyal public servant. He knows that Trump is an unhinged lunatic, though, and this is the payback he gets.”
He was arrested only two hours ago, but McCabe has already been convicted of traitorous treasoning, and his punishment will be swift. Justice has been served.