Alec Baldwin Arrested Overnight ‘Higher than a Kite’ on Adderall

It was bound to happen sooner or later. You just can’t go around poking fun at the world’s most powerful man and not have something come around and give you a good, swift kick in the backside.

And, that’s exactly what happened to the liberal hero Alec Baldwin.

Last night he was caught jetting around Westburrow in nothing but his Trump wig from the show. These democratic loons, I tell you!

Officials say the “actor” had been shooting up the adderall and didn’t have a care in the world. Police Sergeant Bill Loni made a statement to the press:

“There are obvious signs that Baldwin is a drugged druggie. First, he has this yellowish, orange hue to his skin. That’s a huge red flag. He was also sniffling to the point that we had to call in to Martha Sue to run over to Rite Aid for a packet of Puffs Plus. He was stringing words together that didn’t make sense and his tiny little hands were just twitching.”

NBC executives are scrambling with the prospect of a pending doom for this week’s Saturday Night Live, which hasn’t been funny in years.

“Saturday Night Live is canceled this week. There is no way the show can go on without Alec — nearly every skit is about Trump!”

Get that. Every skit about Trump.

I liked the show back when they left the politics alone. You know, when the greats were still around, like John Belushi and Roseanne Roseannadanna. Those were the good old days.

Sources close to Baldwin say he will be in prison for an undisclosed amount of time. We can only hope they lock him up and throw away the key. Freakin’ libtards, anyways.

About Norbert Heck 5 Articles
There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand. You don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel. So long, Dott.

2 Comments

  1. WHO WERE YOU EXCUSE ME BEFORE PRES. TRUMP ? NO BODY THAT’S WHO. NO BODY EVER HEARD OF YOU THEN YOU CAME OUT LIKE A ROACH TO MOCK PRES. TRUMP. YOU ARE LUCKY HE DID NOT JAIL YOU THE FIRST TIME, BUT NOW YOU HAVE DONE IT AND YOU CAN GO TO GITMO FOR LIFE.

  2. I AM TOLD HE IS ON A LEFTIST COMEDY SHOW, WELL I WILL NOT WATCH THAT. I WAS STRONG TO SAY GITMO, IF HE IS ON DRUGS HE NEEDS ORDINARY JAIL.

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