Secret Service Takes George Lopez Into Custody

The Secret Service took “comedian” George Lopez into custody earlier to question him about the threats he made against President Trump. After Iran announced an $80 million bounty on Trump, Lopez asked his fans to chip in.

The lead investigator in the case, Agent Art Tubolls, says the Secret Service has no choice but to take every threat seriously:

“Lopez may think he was joking, but we found that his fans had actually sent huge sums of money to help fund Trump’s assassination. Until we determine where that money went, we have to consider him a suspect.”

Lopez was released on his own recognizance after a liberal judge from the 9th District Court of Appeals deemed him “not a flight risk.” According to his publicist, Lopez isn’t taking any of this seriously:

“George thinks it’s hilarious that the Mango Mussolini is so fragile that he’s having comedians locked up for telling jokes. But, then again, this is the guy who ran to Putin to get elected after Obama made a fool of him, so he’s not really all that surprised.”

Lopez will probably get off scot-free, like most liberal losers, but his reputation is forever tarnished. He’ll be known as the guy who tried to raise money to have a President killed. Let’s see how his career goes from here. Our money is on him going the way of Nordstrom, Yeti, Nike, and Colin Kaepernick.

About Flagg Eagleton 116 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

1 Comment

  1. I THINK HE OUGHT TO GO TO THE CHAIR, THAT IS LIKE MURDER IF YOU SAY LIKE THAT ABOUT A PRESIDENT. THEY DO NOT JOKE ON DEATH ROW. LIBERALS ARE SICK. WHEN PRES. TRUMP WINS HE NEEDS STOP THE 2 TERM LIMIT, AND BUILD MORE JAILS FOR DEMS, THEY WANT TO ASSINATE PRES. TRUMP, LOTS OF WORK TO BE DONE FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS.

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