While you’re occupied with the lamestream media talking about a phony impeachment and morning shows full of book-hawking 3rd-string celebrities like Trump Jr., Nancy Pelosi and her Congress of Doom have been pushing out bills like your F-150 pushes aside hippies.
For example, just this Friday, Pelosi cleared Bill 6161 for a pass through, designed to raise the waiting period for anyone purchasing any type of firearm to one year. That’s right- if you buy a beautiful gun today, you’ll actually be able to get it in your hands one year from now. By which time the guy carjacking you or holding you up for your Air Jordans will likely be in an entirely different barrio, ese. Is it me, or is this insane?
This bill is an obvious attempt to trample all over our second-amendment rights like Mike Pence stomping through a greenhouse to get to the cucumber section. So let’s face facts. We need to rise up as the patriotic deplorables that God created us to be at some point after He created Oxy. Pelosi warned us not to “mess” with her. Well, she doesn’t know anything about a mess until she’s seen what happens after a conservative Trump supporter confuses the soap and the toothpaste every morning and rises up in front of her office, confronting her voters with bubbly teeth and bright green armpits.
People, I’m not waiting a year to get something I bought fair and square with the money I made selling Zima mixed with water to high school kids as “devil’s moonshine”. Hell, I don’t even like waiting 5 seconds for 80-year old Bobo Queefington to draw a line on my receipt for my Walmart frozen burritos when I’m leaving. What kind of code is that, anyway? Couldn’t anyone just bring a marker into the place and draw a line on a receipt and walk out? That whole thing smells Obamaish.
Now get up here and piss in this radiator, patriots. Let’s roll.