Strange times at the local Walmart in Chesamoko, Illinois yesterday. A deranged man – identified as Mr. Joseph Barron – was arrested for a perverse assault……on a stuffed animal. A “Trumpy Bear” to be precise.
Barron, known to be a liberal troll on social media Facebook and Twitter, was seen walking into the department store and proceeding directly to the toy department where he proceeded to tear a hole in the hindquarters of a stuffed ‘Trumpy Bear.’ This was strange enough but what came next shocked the entire store.
Barron dropped his pants right there in the aisle and began to furiously assault the poor bear using the backside hole he created, all the while screaming:
“Trump is screwing with the whole country! Now I’m going to screw him! How do you like that Trumpy? I’m gonna go deep!”
The sick display continued for 10 minutes before store security separated Barron from his plush victim and police were called. Barron was led away by the law in handcuffs, screaming like a madman the whole way.
Chesamoko PD gave a statement on Barron’s mental state following the arrest, saying:
“There is no doubt that he is perfectly sane. He was simply acting out what so many of these liberal scum are saying, that being ‘F**k Trump.’ Think of his action as a performance art piece.”
Joe Barron currently awaits trial in a CPD courthouse. Updates will be reported as they arrive