Federal health authorities are already expecting the country to see an abortion boom in the coming months as liberal democrats are showing signs of being ‘turned on’ by a most unlikely source – the impeachment hearings.
Planned Parenthood conducted an early morning poll today, asking users how the publicly televised impeachment proceedings were affecting their love life. The response was overwhelming with 92% of those surveyed reporting that “watching Trump go down was better than anything else to ignite their passion.”
Other comments included:
“It’s better than Viagra”
“I get a rise every time that gavel falls”
“AOC is so hot”
“This has saved my marriage”
“The thought of Trump taking it in prison is the biggest turn on”
“Trump is going to be f***ed and now I’m getting f***ed too”
All those who returned responses indicated that their carnal desire was so strong that they didn’t see their amorous activities ending at any time throughout the entire length of the Congressional hearings, each predicting they would continue to “be like bunnies” as long the President’s political career was threatened. This prompted PP to offer “Impeachment Specials” to all their most loyal customers in a promotional email which read:
“The impending removal of President Dump has put everyone “in the mood” (wink), including ourselves. But in our case, it’s not in the mood for love, but in the mood to help you save money! When Trump goes to prison, we’ll get our funding back so we can afford to extend great prices to you!
From today, and throughout 2020 to allow for fourth trimester abortions, Planned Parenthood is offering 1/2 price extractions! So toss the birth controls, have some fun, then pay us a visit! See you soon!”
The clinic chain expects to see 6 million new and repeat customers over the next year as a result of this special offer. That’s 6 million murders resulting from hatred for the greatest man this country has ever produced. Socialist Liberal Democrats are the most disgusting people on earth.