Pork producers around the world – including the United States – are in a panic as a bovine disease is killing pigs at an alarming rate. The sickness strikes suddenly and is always fatal. No cause or cure has yet been found.
The disease first causes the pigs to become very lethargic, barely able to move. Within days, their skin takes on an ashen pallor and begins to shed, until they are eventually without skin at all. Days later they die……every time. It seems akin to flesh eating disease except that instead of flesh rotting away from within, it begins to disintegrate from the exodermic layer.
A spokesman for the National Association of Pork Producers, Joeb Arron, specified their concerns:
“Our product is dying. How long before we can no longer serve up pork chops and bacon to the American public? That would be a devastating loss to the American war of life.
And how did this start? Who hates pork this much? Only one group could be behind this – the Mosalamites. We suspect that they have released a pathogen into every pig farm on the planet so that they no longer have to worry about pork stealing their souls. It’s diabolical!
We are calling on the federal government to do two things : investigate the cause of this horrible disease and begin work immediately on finding a cure. The future of American meals is at stake.”
No Mosalamites have yet taken credit for the pandemic but Arron’s logic seems sound. Who else has the motive to eliminate pork from the earth. Details to come as they emerge.