Tim Allen is one of the few successful actor/comedians in Holllywood to not only hold good conservative Christian values, but to offer unapologetic support for President Trump. And he’s had enough with being in the minority. He’s going to use December 1st as a giant “coming out” day to march a “Trump Pride” parade straight through Los Angeles for those of us who are proud to be who we are. Gullible Deplorables.
The parade, which is in the midst of planning stages is to start at President Trump’s Walk of Fame star, and continue down through the city proper. Allen, whose last television series “Last Man Standing” netted him nearly $2000.00 in revenue, is planning to raise funds for the event through various internet begging, sales of his “Shaggy Dog” props on EBay, and snatching social security checks from random mailboxes.
A host of stars and institutions have pledged to assist with the parade, such as “X-men” and “Down Periscope” star Kelsey Grammar, spokesperson for the morning after pill Scott Baio, and handicapped comedienne Victoria Jackson. Numerous sponsors have already dedicated themselves to displays. Chic-Fil-A will be featuring a marching band festively costumed as the salmonella virus. Hobby Lobby is constructing a Melania Trump balloon made entirely of breast implants. This promises to truly be a sight to behold.
On an unrelated note because I didn’t have a last paragraph again, here’s a review of a movie that hasn’t come out yet, Marvel’s “The Eternals.” Big mistake. This will be the one that sucks. You thought that was “Thor 2”. Find the biggest comic nerd in the world and ask him if the Eternals are cool. They’re not. They’re boring. They have no story. Never in history has anyone said : “Boy, I hope they make the Eternals into a movie some day.” Meanwhile, no plans to make Moon Knight, who is an awesome schizo Batman, into a film. Thanks, Obama.