Walmart Loses $1.2 Billion In One Day After Banning Guns

Less than 24 hours after they announced they would no longer cater to all gun owners in every state no matter what, Walmart has lost more than a billion dollars. According to our experts in the financials department, Art Tubolls, Walmart will continue to lose money as long as they continue pandering to liberals:

“Walmart’s stock opened this morning nearly 40 percent lower than it closed yesterday. Add to that the lines of people at Target, Kmart, and other fine rertailers looking to keep away from the freedom-haters at Wally’s and we estimate more than a billion a day. Closer to $1.2 billion.”

Economists agree. Walmart’s stock will likely recover, but only if the customers return. Since the gun ban, Walmart has seen a decrease of nearly 34 percent in overall foot traffic that would normally carry guns. Local activist and gun rights advocate, “Johnny Infidel,” says he can’t go anymore because he just doesn’t feel safe:

“There was just a shooting in a Walmart in Texas, and now they say I can’t protect myself? What happens when the people that guy targeted come to my neighborhood looking for revenge? I should just sit there on the fishing aisle and let them shoot me?

My family and I will be over at the KMart where they welcome me and my long gun with open arms.”

A spokesman from Kmart said the chain is so desperate at this point it would allow uzis in the store if it would bring more customers, but that isn’t really the point. Would that guy have done what he did if he walked into Walmart and there were 40 people standing there ready to respond if he goes for his trigger?

I was in three of those standoffs last month and I’ll tell you what, everyone always feels better when it’s over and hardly anyone ever gets shot. You’re on the wrong side of history, Walmart. You’ve pissed off your customer base. There’s no coming back from that.

Flagg’s advice? Sell all your shares and shop elsewhere.

About Flagg Eagleton 103 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

1 Comment

  1. I DID NOT SEE THIS BEFORE BUT I GOT SENT BY A CHURCH FRIEND. I HOPE WAL MART LEARNS IT’S LESSON FROM THIS AND REMEMBER GOD, GUNS AND GUTS MADE AMERICA GREAT, NOT BANNING GUNS AND JESUS.

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